Domestic Violence Resources

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. To speak with an advocate, call the 24-hour HELPline at (608) 752-2583 or text (608) 371-9288.

Domestic Violence Crisis Line

What Is Domestic Violence?

 Domestic violence, specifically coercive control, is a pattern of various behaviors used by one person to assert and maintain their power and control over another person. Coercive control, as seen in the graphic, can be complex with layers on layers of how a person or group of people can instill fear and use manipulation in order to maintain their power and control over another person or group of people. It does not discriminate and can happen to any race, ethnicity, culture, age, sexual orientation, gender, marital/relationship status, religion, economic status, profession, education status -anyone.

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is when an abusive partner uses coercive control over their intimate partner in order to keep them scared, isolated, dependent and trapped in the Cycle of Violence. The complexity and prevalence of coercive control is why victims cannot “just leave” the situation.

Recognizing the signs of coercive control:

  • Never admits any responsibility of any issues in any past relationships; always blames the other partner for everything

  • Excuses their behaviors and never takes responsibility; expects you to be ok with their behavior, but they are never ok if you behave the same way

  • Makes “jokes” about your looks, gender, culture, values, passions, etc.; questions and/or belittles your judgements, opinions, choices

  • Dismisses or minimizes your feelings and gaslights your disagreements as you are not listening or understanding them; makes you feel responsible for their happiness

  • They won’t give you theirs, but they want access and passwords to all your accounts for “safety”

  • Uses tracking aps like Life360 for “safety;” often checks in on your movements

  • Insists on knowing where you go, who you are with; sometimes stops you from leaving by blocking your exit, hiding your keys, etc.; asks others about your activities; they search all your items to know what you have been doing

  • They call and/or text often when you are out at work, at school, with friends or family; makes attempts to sabotage your relationships with work, school, friends, or family

  • Controls and/or threatens your housing stability, financial stability, medical care, parenting, your freedom, or creates other legal trouble for you

  • Threatens or causes harm to themselves, you, others, or property; introduces or influences keeping you on substances and/or alcohol; uses your addiction against you